I am forgiving

         It is said in order to truly love, you must first learn to love yourself; the same can be said about forgiveness.  Personally, I'm much harsher on myself than any other person; which is something I'm trying to work on, because the self talk I give to myself, I would never give to another.  I have in mind the kind of person I want to be, to reach that, I must first make peace with the person I am right now, and that is ever changing.  There are many layers of forgiveness that I still need to go through to fully accept myself for who I am, warts and all. 

         My journey here has been full of twists and turns, steady to sometimes steep inclines, smooth or precipitous declines, and everything in-between.  I've gotten lost along the way and have had to backtrack to find my place once more, but there have been times where I've stumbled upon some shortcuts too.  I wouldn't trade any of it, for it has been all of these experiences, good or bad, that have shaped me into the person I am today, and I'm really starting to like that person.

        Forgiveness isn't always easy, our egos like to hang onto things, especially when we've been wronged.  But what is that toxic energy doing to us?  Nothing ever good, just breeding an internal environment that is hostile and degrading.  I know, because I spent years there.  I've learned to let it all go, and not only forgive the people that I've felt wronged by, but I've learned to forgive myself.  I've learned to forgive myself for my shortcoming, learned to forgive myself for hanging on to things for far too long, and learned to forgive myself when I slip up.

        It is said in order to truly love, you must first learn to love yourself, but what is forgiveness, if not love for yourself.