I am Honest

         "Honesty is more than not lying.  It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving"

                                                                                                                                - James E. Faust

        One would think that honesty is simple, but in reality it can be quite complicated.  Dishonesty can stem from good intentions, but a misstep here or there sends us stumbling into a big mess.  For me, the greatest acts of dishonesty I've ever committed, were against myself.  Then again, the greatest acts of honesty, were for myself.

        Lying to yourself, or not living your truth, tears and knots you up on the inside.  It suffocates the soul, for you are unable to live authentically.  It can be hard work, and a lot of times it forces us to look at the ugly side of ourselves that we usually try to ignore or hide.  What can be more honest than being your authentic self?  I've been asking myself lately, am I being honest with myself, and am I living my authentic self.  It's a complicated answer, because part of me is being true to who I am, but I also know that I am living in a way that is goin against what my soul wants.  I am the type of person that needs to have meaning in what I do, and I need to be doing things that feed my soul.  Kung Fu is definitely one of the things in my life that feeds my soul, but there is another big aspect of my life that I've been questioning, and one that feels to be more stifling than nourishing that part of my soul.  When I am doing Kung Fu, I am laying everything I have on the mats, good or bad.

        I have a lot more inner work to do to figure out what it is that I want, so that I can be my authentic self in all aspects of my daily life, and not just in a few areas.