I am Responsible

         We all have a list of things that we are responsible for, maybe some more than others: school, work, chores, training, maintaining relationships, etc..  If we let it, these responsibilities can become resentment.  So, when do we cross that line from responsibility to resentment?  I think part of it is when we lose focus on the why behind what we take responsibility for.

        Easiest example is our Kung Fu, and for some of us, the agreements we made for the I Ho Chuan.  When we learn a lesson in class, it is our responsibility to take it home and work and reflect on it; to train so that we can get better.  For the IHC it is setting out to accomplish the goals we agreed to, whether that's our 50,000 push-ups and sit-ups, our 1000 form reps for hand and weapon, our acts of kindness, along with our personal goals; all of which leads us towards mastery.  Those are the whys, to get better at Kung Fu, and to work towards mastery.  Yet, inevitably there are times where we start to resent these commitments we made.  It's time consuming, we don't think it's serving us, the numbers are too great, and a multitude of other excuses.  We lose sight of our why.  Guess what, that's something we have to take responsibility for too.  Not only do we have to take responsibility for what we set out to do, we have to take responsibility for when we are not meeting our commitments.  On the other hand, we do get to take responsibility for our successes, and that's called having pride.

        I want to take pride in what I do, and what I have set out to accomplish.  I was given a choice and my response was that I was able to achieve it.  Get it.  Response-able, responsible.  When I do start to harbor resentment, I ask myself why.  100% of the time, it's because I've let myself down.  Whether that means I quit, or thought of quitting, I broke my commitment that I made with myself.  No different from our Kung Fu or the IHC; because we are the ones we made the commitment to, not our instructors.  We have to take responsibility for our decisions, because we chose to make them.  We chose to be better.

        I am responsible, both for my achievements and my failures.  I am also responsible to pick up the pieces when things eventually do go wrong.  I am responsible for my attitude and my own happiness.  I am responsible.