I am receiving

          I've always had a hard time with receiving, be it gifts, a compliment, care.  As a caregiver, I have felt it has always been my role to take care of others, and that's not just at work either, in my daily life with my friends and family.  The crux of the matter is that, like most caregivers, I have a hard time with receiving help in return.  As for gifts and compliments, I've always felt awkward because I never really felt I deserved those things.  

        When it comes to advice, it is not like I don't receive advice well, it is more that I reflect on what is said and see if it aligns with me.  Criticism is a hard one too, because no one really likes having their faults or their flaws front and center, however important that criticism can be to progressing.

        Over the last few years I've gotten better at asking for help, and better about receiving in general.  I have worked hard to get my ego out of the way.  It is not a weakness to ask for help, it is a great strength.  It is great to know that I have people in my life that are willing to lend me a helping hand.  I am learning that I am worthy of receiving gifts and compliments.  I am worthy of love and kindness.  I actively seek advice, but I do still like to reflect on it and see if it feels right for me.  As for criticism, I am taking it less personally, because I know it is a way to improve upon what I'm doing; though  it can be awkward and difficult to listen to at times.

         Aside from all of that, my biggest source of receiving is through the universe.  I am always trying my best to listen to what the universe has to say to me.  Sometimes it comes in the form of synchronicities like repeating numbers, sometimes it is through my tarot cards, and other times it comes from a conversation with a friend or even a stranger, and sometimes it comes from sitting quiet in meditation.  Would I like the universe to be more forthright with what it is trying to tell me?  Yes!  I know I can't just be handed the answers and that part of the journey is learning and arriving at the answer on my own.