I am loving...

         "To love is to recognize yourself in another."

                                                        - Eckhart Tolle

        There are many forms of love out there, and many ways to express such love.  There is love that is shared between your family, which is different from the love that is shared with a friend.  There is love that is shared with a pet.  Love that is shared with your significant other, and love that is shared with a child.  The list can go on, and one that is often missed by many is self love.  Our relationship with ourself and how we love ourself, is a big part of the foundation to how we love others.  It took me many years to love myself, and I still struggle with my self value that I place on myself, and how that affects my relationship with others.  What I noticed, probably the most significant thing, is that when my heart is full from all the self love I give to myself, how much more love I want to give to others.  I can come from a place of complete gratitude and fulfillment, that I have an infinite amount of love for others.

        Besides the relationship I have with myself, it has been the relationship with my friends, my spouse, and my pets that have taught me the most about love.  I've always considered my friends to be my family.  I didn't have the most traditional (or maybe it was a more truer traditional) family.  Our family unit never seemed to be in true sync with one another.  There was a lot of fighting.  Didn't seem to be until later, when we could all go out on our own and explore who we were as individuals, that we came closer together.  My friends were my anchor during those turbulent times, and I value those relationships very highly.  As for my spouse, I knew they were someone I wanted to be with, because of how easy it was to connect with them, and get along with them.  We have our arguments and disagreements like anyone, and we put in effort to be in the relationship; and it is hard to explain, but there is an easiness to the relationship at the same time.  Furthermore, within the arguments/disagreements, are the times I find the most love for them, because I know them, I know their story, I know what they've been through, and when I think about that, it makes any argument seem insignificant.  I try my best to have that same thought pattern for others.  Lastly, my relationships with my pets, my dogs in particular, have taught me much about love, because it is less of a traditional give and take relationship.  Dogs don't help me with groceries or pay rent, and I don't have to give them treats for them to like me; and yet they are always so happy to see me.  Doesn't matter how my day was, or what mood I'm in.  Doesn't matter if I just scolded them for getting into trouble, they are just genuinely happy to have you, and I'm genuinely happy to have them.  They are probably the closest thing to unconditional love I've had in my life.

        Before, I had mentioned there are different ways to express love, and there is a "love language" that suits people and these are, at a basic level, broken into five parts: words of affirmation; quality time; receiving/giving gifts; acts of service; and physical touch.  For me personally, quality time and words of affirmation are my top two.  In my daily life I try to utilize these love languages for others by offering words of encouragement to my friends and teammates; providing acts of services through my acts of kindness, as well as giving gifts; spending quality time with my spouse off my phone and being attentive with our conversations; and by giving my family a hug, or petting a dog.

        One final note, I've learned that loving and liking someone is not always synonymous.  There are times I don't like my family, friends, or spouse; but I always love them.  Same with strangers, I don't necessarily have to know them, or even like them, to have compassion and empathy for them, which at the end of the day, is still an act of love.