Purpose/Intent and Qi

         Every once in a while I’ll do a movement that just feels off internally.  Externally it looks fine, but something just doesn’t feel right.  It lacks internal flow.  Usually this occurs when my purpose or intent isn’t clear, or is muddled.  That’s what was happening in Tai Chi yesterday.  There was a movement that is very similar to other movements we’ve done, but slightly different. It was a separation of the left leg, but instead of shifting weight back onto the right leg, we start by shifting back to the left and then the right to get into the move.  Just that small change had me feeling off. 

        Talking through it with Sifu Dennis, I intellectually understood why we did it that way.  It’s so we’re not committed to any one movement, and we have options.  Even though that was clear in my mind, the movement still felt like it was lacking.  So she had me visualize a gathering of energy when I shift back, and that visualization gave me purpose in the movement.  It instantly felt better.  Having a clear purpose can aid intent and thus solidify the movement.  Most of the time I have a clear purpose and intent in what I’m trying to do, but sometimes I don’t.  Sometimes my purpose is just transitional, sometimes it has more meaning to it.  I am finding that it all has purpose, which is supporting the main goal, whether that be a block or a strike.

         The other part of this equation for me is the internal energy.  Qi to intent.  My Qi flows when I have a clear purpose or intent in mind. If it is not clear, then my Qi tends to stagnate or dissipates too early.  It either feels hollow or empty, or stuck.  Very much like how I treat people with acupuncture. I’m ultimately either trying to move Qi that is stagnated or in excess, or bring Qi to a place that is deficient.  Same goes for my Kung Fu.  I’m trying to move Qi in a way that supports my movements, and feel if it is stuck or deficient.  I can’t say I’ve recognized what an excess would be.