Stuck in the middle with you

           I find it to be one of life’s quirks, the irony of seeing the beauty, appreciation, and gratitude of the world around you, when one is at a low point in their life.  At least, that has been true for me.  When I’m on a high note, I tend to take for granted what’s in-front of me, not grasping that it can all just easily go away, like footprints on a beach being erased by the tide.

          My second train of thought comes from a board game I played the other night.  The game is Mansion’s of Madness, an H.P Lovecraft inspired game, where you play as a group on investigators, trying to solve the mysteries of the occult before beasts from another dimension, or Cthulhu itself breaks through to our plane of existence.  Some of the scenarios can be tough, and not all are winnable.  Which brings me to the point, that losing is okay.  Winning all the time can get mundane, nor is there rarely any growth from such a feat.  To add to my first line of thought, losing or failure, enriches life.  It brings life more meaning, as long as you’re able to keep this sort of thinking ahead of you.  Give in to despair, and well, everything sucks and life becomes infinitely harder.  If you embrace the fact that you’re in a slump, and see what that has to offer you, then you can grow from the adversity.  You’ll become not only more resilient, but you’ll become aware of the cycle that we are all bound to at some point or another.

           My goal is not to chase the highs of life.  I appreciate them when they arrive, and I’ll bask in its light and warmth, but I don’t get attached to it either.  I know that all highs have their lows.  No, my goal is to try to ride the river of life somewhere in the middle.  Mitigating the harsh swing of the pendulum from one end to the other.  Same thing can be said of a lot of things. If your aim is for consistency, you won’t get caught up in the emotional rollercoaster.  

         When it comes to my training, my goal is to be consistent.  That doesn’t mean that it’s always going to go great.  There’s going to be plenty of days where it all feels pointless, or that it will feel worse.  That also means there are going to be days of great epiphanies and accomplishments.  When I talk of consistency, I mean consistent effort.  I’m not chasing a particular goal, just looking to improve little by little.  I’ll still get caught up in certain things sure, like wanting to be prepared for the demo, or Tiger challenge, or grading year.  Part of that is my character, I always want to put my best foot forward and a lot of the times that means never feeling fully ready.  It’s also in my nature to just give what I’ve got for better or for worse.

          Guess what I’m trying to say in a long winded and winding way is that although I’ve hit a low point lately, a) I know it will pass, b) sometimes the worst part about that is riding it out, c) knowing that even if you’re actively doing things to get yourself out, sometimes it takes time for things to fully align, d) it is a great opportunity for some introspection, and 5) progress can still be made.