Empathy and Compassion

           We talk about developing empathy and compassion to better our Kung Fu, and to better ourselves as individuals; but how exactly does that help us?  I could say the obvious answer is that development of empathy and compassion makes us kinder human beings.  What does that mean though?  How do these things make us better martial artists?  

          Having empathy helps put us in other’s shoes.  Empathy can help us feel and understand what another person can be going through.  In the context of the martial arts, that understanding can help us read our opponent, and ultimately can diffuse a situation before it escalates.  At the very least, we have an understating of what it can mean to be in a fight and know the kinds of decisions another person can make.  In our day-to-day, having empathy can help us navigate our relationships, be it work, family, friends.  Empathy is a skill that needs to be developed, and empathy can be aided by life experiences.  Self awareness and self reflection play important roles in empathy, because empathy requires us to be in-tune with how we feel.  For example, I didn’t understand how anxiety affected people until I experienced anxiety.  Then I knew what it felt like, and thus could empathize when someone else was going through it.  At a base level, I think we can all feel when someone is going through a hard time.  There’s a sadness there that we are all familiar with.

         Compassion on the other hand, is something I believe takes place when we can’t empathize.  Compassion replaces the need for understanding.  At least you don’t need the same level of understating for compassion as you do empathy.  They go hand-in-hand, and yet compassion is more of our desire to want to help.  You may not understand what someone is going through, but you want to help anyway.  It is as pure an act of kindness as you can get, for it is selfless.

         I think it is important to note, that compassion and empathy isn’t just for people that you like.  It’s easy to be empathetic and compassionate to those we know, because we want to be a good partner, friend, classmate, etc..  What of the people we don’t like, our “enemies”.  Developing compassion and empathy for them is just as important.  We’re all just people, floating on a piece of rock that is hurling around space.  None of us know what we’re doing here, what our purpose is.  We don’t get an instruction manual or how to.  We’re all just as lost as the next person, and that is why we NEED to have compassion and empathy for one another; because we can understand what it is to be human, and we can understand the desire to help and to be helped.  The problem is that too many people are too focused on themselves, or they think that someone else will help, or that they have their own problems.  That all may be true, but then you miss out on connecting with another human being on some level, and you miss out on how it feels to make such a sacred connection.

         I confess that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.  All I know is that I want to live with as much compassion, empathy, and kindness as I can muster, because that is how I want to be treated.  That is the legacy I wish to leave behind, because really, not a whole lot else matters.  People remember how you make them feel, not what you gave them, or what you’ve built or accomplished.  Those things fade with time, but feelings are etched into the soul.