Rushing

         I feel like my mind has been racing lately with all the things I feel I need to get done before baby comes, and finishing up the business.  Although I feel like”calm” for the most part, I can tell that I have been rushing, go, go, go.

        How this manifested for me, and it took me a hot moment to realize what it was that was actually going on, was I was rushing my Tai Chi. I’m sure I’ve been rushing other forms too, but I could really tell I was rushing my Tai Chi and getting my upper body ahead of my lower body.  So I started to slow down.  After talking about it with Sifu Dennis, I focused on my breath to really slow myself down and I began doing my Tai Chi like Lung and timing things with my breath, which helped me for what I needed in the moment.  I’ve noticed this before with my forms, that how my nervous system is can really impact how my forms manifest.  For the most part I’ve been trying to relax and stay relaxed throughout my forms, so I’m not wasting energy.  My internal environment has such an impact on my external. I’m learning how much of an impact it has, especially in my forms and technique. Rushed mind will create a rushed body. Like an inflexible and closed mind will hinder our body. A mind at ease will create a body at ease that is better to flow.

         Now this concept of rushing also came up in level 1. There is a student that is very eager to go straight to realism in their applications instead of slowing down and gaining all they could from the lesson.  What ends up happening is that they go a little rough on their partner, have less control in the technique, and they totally rush the whole thing, missing out on the core concepts.  I’ve come to realize the benefit of slowing things down and actually being able to FEEL what it is the technique is doing.  Is safer for everyone involved and you’re using the technique instead of trying to muscle your way through.

         I’ve always likened rushing and stress to tunnel vision; the more rushed and stressed you are, the less you see.  The more relaxed and at ease, the more you see.  Funny how when we’re stressed we tend to focus on the negative, but I think it’s because that’s all we can see.  Sometimes we need an outside influence to help us slow down and really take a look at a situation to see the big picture, and all the good that is surrounding us too.  My Kung Fu is similar. When I’m relaxed and at ease in mind and body, I can see and receive more.  When I’m stressed or not feeling well physically, I become very limited and I become less receptive.  It was a good reminder yesterday from Sifu Dennis to focus on the breath, because breathing really does help reset us.  I notice how shallow and difficult my breath was before talking to her, and then after it became deeper and easier.  My body instantly relaxed, and my mind slowed right down and became clearer.  As a result my Tai Chi and Kung Fu felt way better.  My theme of slowing down continues.  Along with all of that, I’ve felt a deep yearning to gain as much from my instructors and the people around me, and really just sit and take it all in. It’s just been a sense of how limited my time is with everyone. Could also be that feeling of rushing still.