Loss and New Beginnings

         I apologize in advance for the heaviness of this blog.  A lot of changes happening all at once it seems, which is fitting for me.  I like to go big in life.

        I'll start off with the loss of my Grandpa Ted.  He passed away peacefully in his sleep on the night of the Banquet.  He was 95 years young.  Unfortunately I had lost a good period of time there with him due to family drama/dynamics, and was only in the past few years that we reconnected.  I find I am grieving the time lost more than the person.  I grieve the time and opportunities we didn't get to spend together, and the time we could have spent together.  I look back fondly on the times we did share.  From playing old maid to him teaching me how to play crib.  Sleepovers at his place, watching Price is Right and reruns of Are You Being Served while eating on homemade caramel popcorn.  Helping harvest fruits and vegetables from their big garden in the back.  He always had a smile on his face.

        The other big change happening is that Risen will close its doors April 17th.  It has been a wild 8 years in business, but it is time to close that chapter and move on to the next.  It was my dream for a long time.  I set out to do something a little different, and for a while there it was great; but with epidemics and lockdowns, an unstable economy, major life events, and a baby on the way, it was time for me to say goodbye.  I've also decided to end my practice entirely in Spruce Grove after 10 years of serving the community.  I'll miss my patient's, because they brought me such joy.  To have had an impact on so many lives, and being apart of their journeys is invaluable.  At the end of the day, that is my "why" for doing what I do.  I learned a lot in my 8 years of business.  Most importantly I think I've learned that I don't want to manage people.  I like collaborating with people to build something, but when you manage you get a lot of people who have LOTS of opinions about how things SHOULD be done, even though it's not their money or livelihood on the line.  I'll be the person behind the scenes lifting others up and working towards a goal, and I'll also be the person who does things that bring them joy in their life, because life is short.

        These changes have me thinking about the life that I want to live.  More importantly, what I want to be doing with the time I have left.  Honestly, I think with my health history, I'll be lucky to make it to 90, let alone 95 like my Grandpa Ted.  I don't care too much about legacy or anything like that.  I want to pursue things that bring me join and get me excited.  I want to spend as much quality time with friends and loved ones, making memories.  I want to be a present parent to my children.  I want to do Kung Fu for as long as I am able bodied to.  And I want to spread as much kindness as I can.  I think that is one of the most important things to me.  A little kindness can go a really long way in someone's life.  I don't judge or pretend to know what's going on in someone's life, because I really don't know what battles they're fighting when no one is looking.  I've spent enough of my life worrying, being angry or bitter, and being anxious over things that haven't come to pass.  Time to slow down and become more present and mindful.

Here is a picture of my sister, grandpa, and me playing Old Maid.