Getting in my head
I’ve been getting in my head a lot lately. Feel like my year just started in a rough spot and I’ve been trading water since.
The upcoming Tiger challenge is stressing me out a bit/ making me nervous, which normally I wouldn’t be. It feels like there is more at stake with this one, even though intellectually I know that’s not true. Same with just my grading year in general, I feel like I’m just not where I should be. I know it’s all a mental game. I feel crappy about myself right now, and thus I think like I’m doing crappy. Again, I know this isn’t reality, just wish I would feel like it isn’t. Those two things can be hard to harmonize at times: reality and feeling/emotion. Because of all this, the mental load is taking a toll on my body too. Aches and pains, etc.. Our emotional state really dictates the way our body’s move. Emotionally stuck, our body’s become rigid. Emotionally free, our body’s too can move freely.
I’ve been trying to take things day by day, and although I’ve made some progress, I still feel stuck. At this point I’m not really sure what else I could be doing. I’ve booked some one-on-ones to see if I can get some direction/inspiration.
Some people might not like what I’m saying, but when I was grading, I had the mindset of “this is my journey, I progress in it with my own pace. If I pass - awesome! If not - I will continue to grow and try again next year”. I still believe this is an individual journey for each and one of us. No comparison. Just growth and progress.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sihing, I’m trying to keep this in front of me.
DeleteI’m really sorry you’re feeling this pressure and stress, but I also I completely get why you are. Maybe, similar to what Sihing says above, you just need a little shift in perspective. You’re dealing with a lot of other personal/professional pressure right now too. And we can be tempted to think things like “I wish I didn’t have these other things going on because then I could just focus all my time and energy on my grading.” But that’s not really practical. There will always be a variety of stress and pressure at any given time. Our grading years aren’t just suddenly free and clear. But maybe if you flip it a little, and think something more like “Everything I’ve managed to accomplish in my grading year is really helping me handle these other challenges I’m facing”, it might help you make a mental shift. Maybe this misses the mark and isn’t very helpful. But either way, know that I think you’re a great example and just keep doing what you’re doing.
ReplyDeletePs. This is Malinda. It wouldn’t let me use my name. Lol
DeleteI knew going in everything wasn’t going to just magically align, but I hoped there would be less obstacles. Year isn’t over yet, still lots to go. Lots of time to turn things around. I’m sure by the end of it, I’ll see all the positives that came out of it.
DeleteBecause I had so much other stuff going on in my grading year, my main focus was self care, mindful breathing and enjoying the journey where ever it took me. Before and during the tiger challenge that year I also did some work with my ego. I would often say “ step aside ego, thank you I’ve got this” and then do some power poses. This really helped me during the tiger challenge and beyond. The mental aspect of this process is key, so believe in yourself wherever that leads to!
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