Legacy

          I often wonder about the kind of legacy I am leaving behind.  How will I be remembered?  Will I be remembered?  Does it even matter?  My Ego sure wants to leave a lasting legacy, some sort of monument or edifice of my existence, but is that important?

          More and more I’m being pulled to live a simpler life.  I’m learning that in the grand cosmic wheel I am merely a speck within a drop of time against a vast ocean.  As much as I’d like to shine on like a star, I recognize that even that light is from something long gone and has taken millennia to reach its viewer.  Though I suppose there is something beautifully poetic about that thought.  Our light can reach out across space like a ripple, influencing something light years and eons away.  I may never have my name etched in public records, but my essence, my actions may very well affect generations to come.

         What kind of life are we really trying to live?  Is it even something that we’ve decided for ourselves, or is it something that has been sold to us through media and propaganda?  I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’ve been chasing something that I don’t even really want, nor is it something that is in alignment with my soul.  I feel like the lab rat caught in a maze with the promise of cheese.  The maze is the career construct of capitalism and the cheese is financial freedom.  We’re all playing this game whether we like to or not, but we don’t need play by the rules that it has set out for us.  As much as financial freedom is important, what does that actually look like?  My guess is it can be a lot cheaper once you cut out a lot of the materialistic values we’ve been taught are essential.

         What is important to me first and foremost is my health.  Second, is my soul purpose, or my why for getting up in the morning. Thirdly, is my relationships.  Aside from that I really don’t need much else.  Sure there’s a lot more out there, but when you really get down to it, it’s all just distractions along our journey to the inevitable end.  I’m not trying to sound pessimistic, it is just a hard truth.  Take meditating as an example.  Meditation really isn’t hard, it’s just sitting still for long periods of time; and yet, many struggle to sit and just be.  Life really isn’t much different, and yet we find ways to pass time and create value in our lives.  Isn’t living enough?  I get being part of community and being a “valuable” member, but what does that actually mean?  

          This brings me to this final point.  In search of meaning, in value, in purpose, I’ve kept making the same mistake over and over of looking outwards for the answer.  The real answer is within.  I am the source of my worth.  We’re taught that we need to strive for some arbitrary status in our careers and lives, to reach some trivial pedestal.  The only true meaning in our lives is in the relationships we weave with others.