Think or breath before you leap

         This past Monday, I had a good training session.  What felt different about this training session was how light and overall relaxed my body felt.  My body moved more fluidly, my kicks and punches were faster (seemed faster), and I could feel my harmonies connect in a way I haven't really felt before.  This got me thinking about how I can recreate this feeling, and why I am so tense at the Kwoon.  

        Lately my focus in my training has been on softening my body, mainly my upper body, but lower body too.  With the addition of a more consistent yoga practice and meditation, I'm finding my body more relaxed and malleable.  As a result, my Kung Fu feels more connected and organic.  I'm utilizing the technique more, and by that I mean my body mechanics and alignment of my skeleton, as opposed to using muscle.

        So what's different from this training and my training at the Kwoon?  For one, I probably don't help myself by going to the gym right before class.  Having tense muscles right before entering the mats.  I do it because it works with my schedule, and would not move my body in this way otherwise.  The other factor is probably just the other students.  I'm fairly good at hyper-focusing and tuning out distractions, but regardless, with my long legs I tend to travel into other peoples' spaces and thus effecting my own flow.  There's also something about being on the mats, that raises my energy.  Funny, because we are learning to remain calm in the chaos, and yet when I start a form, my heart rate goes up and I AM ON.  I try to set my intention to relax and go through a form calmly, and yet without fail I tend to revert back to that antsy energy, of lets go.  

        I'm recognizing in myself that that is an area that needs more attention.  Even doing sparring drills I can feel my energy already wanting to go forward in anticipation of throwing those punches out.  Instead of being relaxed and rooted, my energy shifts forward ever so slightly, but enough that if you were to give me a slight push from behind, I'd go forward easily.  In these moments I'm having to sink into my legs more, lower that center down, breath, and relax the shoulders.  This is something I know will not be an overnight fix.  It is going to take a lot of mindful adjustments to recenter when my go to is to pounce.  

        When it comes down to it, it really is just an adjustment in my thoughts.  I know it can be hard to step outside of the energy of the group, but when we are practicing in class, I should really only be concerned with my intent and my flow and not worry about everyone else's energy.  When it comes to sparring drills, its a shift in thinking more defensively than aggressively.  I know these things, intellectually, just need to work on the practical application.