Running around and the path to Mastery

         After the crescendo of the last year, which was the banquet, I've found myself struggling with the new pace set before me.  Leading up to the banquet was a lot of extra time in between work.  Now post banquet, I find my work days are still packed (unusual for this time of year), I'm three weeks deep into Yoga teacher training, and I'm still trying to carve out time for my Kung Fu and well, everything else: relationships, training the foster dog, rest, etc.. 

        These are all great things, and there is a lot of positive changes happening because of it, but on the other hand, I'm finding my attention starting to divide and my energy waning.  If mastery is all about consistent action, adapting to our environment, and rooting out mediocrity by filling the gaps we have with reaching toward our goal, then I should be thriving right?  I'm certainly busy with things that are steering me towards mastery.  However, BUSYNESS IS NOT MASTERY.  You can be busy and not be any closer to mastery.  That's how I am feeling as of late.  Lost in the hustle and bustle, trying desperately to hold on to some semblance of routine.  Things have changed though, and that's okay.  I recognize the things that I am doing are all important to my journey, and are ultimately pulling me towards mastery.  I also know, and am realizing more, that part of Mastery is building in time to REST AND REFLECT.  That is the part that is out of balance for me right now.  I am still in the mindset that I need to keep pushing myself to my limits to reach that peak.  Eventually I'll just burn myself out.

        Pushing and Pulling.  I used the word pull for mastery, because for me, there is an aspect of spirit involved.  I am pulled towards mastering the things that I am doing, because that is what my spirit craves.  On the opposite end, I've been pushing myself.  Yes, we need to put in that consistent effort, because that helps, but the push and pull should be harmonious, like it is in our techniques.  We can't just let the pull guide us without any effort, and we can't push too hard either, otherwise we'll tire out. 

         Ultimately, there will always be times where we slip into mediocrity.  I liken this to meditation and focusing on the breath.  If mastery is the breath, then mediocrity is the wandering mind that latches onto thoughts as they pop up.  It is okay that this happens, for this is human, as long as we return to that breath, that mastery.  I recognize that my focus is elsewhere, and that I need to return my concentration to my goals.