Mediocrity

         I've been thinking more and more lately about how mediocrity plays a role in my life, and the ways I've been trying to combat it.  Perhaps I should give some background as to why these thoughts have surfaced.  For a lot of my life, I've been searching for a way to fill this void that I feel.  I definitely don't always feel like that, but it does come up time and agin.  My solution to this has been gaining more knowledge, more skills, and completing challenges.  Well, I've gained more knowledge, garnered new skills, and have completed many a challenge; on-top of that, I've gotten married and opened my own business.  Great accomplishments, and value in everything.  Still, that feeling persists.  This lead me to think about my Kung Fu, and my why for doing it, and if my why is still even relevant.  I got into Kung Fu because it was something I've always wanted to do, that I was too self conscious to do before, until my health scare, and well, the rest is history.  Few years into it now, and it's still a big part of my life, but I also wonder, is this just another thing that I'm doing to try to fill that emptiness?

        I'm focusing on being a lot more mindful with my Kung Fu, the way I pay attention to my forms, my techniques, even doing my daily push-ups and sit-ups.  When I have free time, I make it my choice to get out and do a few repetitions of a form, or do some shadow boxing.  I've even started noticing that in small moments, say between clients or whatever I'm doing, I actually start doing some sort of Kung Fu, a lot of the times it's practicing a quick seven knife hands, six elbows or poison hands, practicing some mantis and monkey.  Sure If someone was watching me, they'd think I was a bit out there.  It's just become normal for me to do these things.  I'm also making sure that I'm not just mindlessly doing these things just to get my repetitions in either.  Another thing, I'm trying not to overtrain either.  I was going to the gym daily and now that that's restricted again, it's back to running a few times a week, so having a day or two to rest is important.

        Mindfulness, is the point I'm trying to drive home through the convoluted text I just wrote.  Being present and being mindful are the closest things to an answer I've found for combating that feeling of emptiness in my life.  Kung Fu is something that has helped me achieve this through repetitions of my forms and techniques, my blogging, my daily acts of kindness, and by reading everyone's blogs, and really taking it all in.

        That's all I've got for today.