The Only Comparison That Matters

         I've made it a priority this year to not only read more of other team members' blogs, but to engage on them too.  I am in awe the progress that is being made all around me.  It can be intimidating though.  Especially with the negative voice in my mind lurking.  It likes to sneak up on me and whisper.  It never shouts, only ever softly speaks; but those quiet words can be devastating.  They are words that tell me I'm not good enough.  That everyone else around me is so much better.  Can be pretty easy to want to give in and quit sometimes.  So why don't I?

        Funny thing is, these same words that I hear, are also echoed in others.  Like Tall Poppy Syndrome, others reactions are to cut down a person's ego to make themselves feel better; but for me I like to go the opposite route and keep encouraging the person, because knowing myself, even in success, there is still that fear or unworthiness.  A goal of mine this year, that was not written, but more internally contracted, is to be the person to help lift other up on my team.  To cheer  them on, especially when self doubt is creeping in on them.

        Over the years, I've come to realize that the only comparison that matters, is that with your former self.  The you that was yesterday, last month, last year.  Sure there are days where I falter, but I keep striving to better myself.  Not necessarily physically either.  Even though my physical health has been important to me, the greatest challenge I set for myself is my mind, and my emotional body.  I challenge myself to be more open minded, and to continuously learn.  I challenge myself, not to control my emotions, but to let them flow like a leaf on a stream.  Acknowledge that they are there, but to let them pass, and not to fixate.  That last bit is easier said than done, and requires much more practice.

        Kung Fu has been a struggle for me.  Where as I usually find most things that I tackle come with a certain natural ease, Kung Fu has been the opposite for me.  It's really challenged the relationship with my body.  Physically it's glaringly showed me my lack of flexibility and mobility.  In my mental body, it's shown me frustration, and how to get over that hurdle.  In my emotional body, it's questioned my natural relationship with energy, especially as an empath.  Energy work is something I've been working on for the better part of a decade, if not longer.  I've even managed to get my certification as a Reiki Master.  Still, Kung Fu is challenging how I feel this energy in a wildly different way.  Regardless of the struggle, I have still managed to improve from the me in the past.