Ho-Hum week

         I have been struggling with my training as of late.  Lots of zeros in place of any other number.  Not that I haven't been training, because I have.  Most of it has just been at class though and I haven't felt much motivation to do too much at home.

        Part of it still has to do with my mental/emotional state.  Still managing stress and trying to figure out this journey called life.  I think I just really got into my head last week and in my own way.  Just felt off.  I feel like I've just been in this weird transitional state, stuck in limbo.  I have processes in place to move me towards a better place, it is just dealing with the waiting game to allow all the pieces to align.  So, even though steps are taken to get myself out of this funk, I have to accept the fact that I need to reside in this place of transition before I can reap the benefits.

        As far as the training that I have been doing, I had a really great class led by Sifu Hayes a couple of Saturdays ago now.  It helped bring some freshness to my training, but also had me connecting some dots that I have no doubt other instructors have been telling me, but timing/delivery/my readiness to accept, made everything kind of click.  The thing is applying all of the knowledge.  Intellectually do I know what I need to do/ what needs to be done, yes (well... I think so at least.  Could be delusional).  Do I know how to implement it?  Unsure.  I know I needed to change my intent, which up till now was mainly just full power, full speed.  Problem with that, is that I was almost setting myself up for failure from the get go.  When I think full power, full speed, my body is already tensing up a little bit preparing for that kind of pacing and delivering.  My intent lately has been to relax and even take the tail off my moves.  It may look sloppy at times, but I've noticed a greater sense of ease in my forms.  Plus I didn't realize how much energy I was wasting doing my forms the old way.   Doing them this way I am way less gassed by the end, and my movements feel smoother.  I've started to add the snap back on at the end and everything at the moment is feeling better... in some aspects of the forms.

        When I write it out it seems like I've been doing a lot, but I really haven't been.  If anything I've been slowing down.  I needed to adjust my pace because it was becoming unsustainable.  Furthermore the training I was doing before wasn't very mindful.  My numbers may have suffered these past couple of weeks, but I think the quality may be some of the best I've had all year.  Again, it is taking this information and applying it, and that is the tricky part.  Knowledge doesn't always equate to transferable skill.  At least not right away.

        Aside from my form reps, I have been able to keep up with my push-ups, sit-ups, kilometers, and blogs.  So still some forward movement and upward trajectory, its just a very subtle climb right now as opposed to a steep jut upward.