The Power of Need in Forming Habits Pt. 2

         I want to delve further into the Self-Actualization portion of Maslow's Pyramid.  It's the top of the period, and the place that I have personally been focusing on, having my other needs met.  Again, Self-Actualization includes: morality, creativity, spontaneity, acceptance, purpose, meaning, and inner potential.  Many of these can be related to Kung Fu, and a lot of my Kung Fu is integrated in this.

        I've been on a spiritual journey for some time now.  Most of my life actually, in some shape or form.  My "need" is meaning.  What is my meaning, my purpose in this life?  How am I shaping this purpose?  Am I living my true, authentic self?  I've had a lot of emotional trauma growing up, having been a victim of bullying, and even attempted to take my own life twice.  I lived with a lot of anger and resentment for many years, and there are still pieces of that I am still working on to resolve and let go of.  Emotional scars like that run deep, and so some habits, some knee jerk moments are still very much ingrained in my being, whether I realize it or not.  I also recognize that these circumstances have a direct influence on who I am today, and the why I am.

        I'm at a place now where I can start to take a good look at my past and current circumstances, the choices I made to survive, what is still serving me, and what things I can begin to let go of and heal.  I can accept and forgive things that were done to me, and things that I did out of anger and resentment.  Some of these memories make me cringe.  To quote Adventure Time, "Sometimes it's like when your mind hand touches a hot memory stove,"  it brings up fresh emotions like they just happened.  Again, I can recognize where my mindset was at that time, forgive myself, and learn, so I don't make those mistakes again.

        Where this is all leading me, which my Kung Fu has been a large part of, is my inner potential.  My morality is identified; creativity I gain from my Kung Fu and my writing; spontaneity is derived from my relationships/passions; through acceptance I'm able to peer at meaning; and that leaves me with my PURPOSE being to explore my INNER POTENTIAL.

Numbers: Km's- 2918

                 AOK's- 1210

                PU/SU's- 47, 130

                 Lung- 625

                 Stick- 630

                 Sparring- 785 mins.