Limitations

          We all have our limitations be it physical, mental, or emotional.  What’s important is whether we let those limitations define us or prevent us from doing what we love or what we deem as important.

          I know I have limitations, and I know that sometimes I will use these limitations as an excuse for why I can’t.  Why? Because ego and failure.  At the same time I don’t allow my limitations to deter me.  I’m aware of them. I’m aware of which areas I lack in, so I make sure I make up for it in other areas.  In my Kung Fu, for example, I know my kicks are by far my weakest.  I have poor mobility in my hips.  I do strength training and stretching, and have done so since I started Kung Fu and realized that this was a large gap for me.  Over the years it has improved a bit, but I’m still way behind others’ abilities.  Does that stop me from kicking?  No, I still practice my kicks, but I also make sure my footwork is better and that my upper body strikes are good so that I can still maneuver well in sparring.

           Wednesday I had an incident where I was feeling very unwell.  Turned out my blood pressure got really high, over 163/98, which is about 30 points above what I usually am.  I do have slightly higher blood pressure because my heart is trying to compensate for my valvular issue.  This is a prime example of a “limitation” that I know I be had since the end of 2015, when I spent New Years in the emergency.  I knew because I was told that one day I’d need a valve replacement.  Did that stop me from living my life?  No. Quite the opposite. It motivated me, it was a catalyst for me joining Kung Fu.  It got me thinking more about my diet and lifestyle.  Recently I was told that it’ll be more than a valve replacement and I’ll need open chest surgery. Again, does this limitation stop me? NO.  But, it does change my approach to things.  My goal in life is to live a long life, but also to still have full autonomy over my mind and body.  So everything I do is working towards that goal, limitation or not.

        Probably the biggest limitation that we are all afflicted with is ego.  The only thing I have noticed that works well to battle ego, is time.  With time comes life experiences, good or bad.  Those experiences shape perspective and that perspective hopefully opens paths to new ways of thinking.  Am I still the same person or have I changed?  Both.  Deep down in my core I think I’m still very much a sensitive soul who tries to be kind, but I’ve also become more open minded about people and experiences.  Gone are the days that I was so rigid and inflexible to other perspectives or possibilities.  It took time though, and it took some really hard lessons too.  Sometimes the universe had to beat me over the head repeatedly before I got the lesson. Sometimes I think that’s the way it works.  Sometimes I think that despite others providing the answers from similar situations, that we need to find out for ourselves.  It’s frustrating, I’m sure it most frustrating for those trying to guide us, but that it is also how it has to be.

         I have limitations, but I’m not a product of my limitations.  My limitations do not define who I am. I am aware of them and I strive to be a little bit better than before.